hmm.. in sch rite now.. fuckin foul mood.. and ah boon felt my anger.. kinda sorry for shoutin at him.. hmm.. well.. came into class with black face ppl shld know that i am not in a good mood and he dunno said wad made me more angry..

Am I that fucking transparent? Nvm abt that.. that stupid fat piece of shit.. know my god damn situation and still wont siam.. knn.. is he that stupid?

hmm.. today monday.. sian.. got sch..

sian.. today xl nv come, day nv come.. then i in the morning gt interact meetin.. dennis got ask me wanna go for some dinner on 19th.. said ok to it.. since i dun think i have any events on that day..

after meeting, went to find the rest of the group left.. jen, eileen.. and chris was with them.. so i joined it.. hmm.. then after etp go home le lor..

sam said i am a good guy.. and can feel like as if she said it with sincerity worx.. lols.. thanks sammy! XDD lols.. well.. yea.. u're good too.. caring too..

hmm.. dun really hav anything to blog abt le.. think end here le..

humans are really contradicting.. one minute u really wan something, it comes to u.. then when u decline.. u tend to regret.. hmm.. well.. think thats normal human behaviour.. regrets regrets regrets~~

hmm.. today woke up at 1pm plus.. tired.. think slpt too much.. last nite slpt at 2am..

today had lunch at home when i woke up.. bread with hot dog and mushroom campbell soup.. woo.. nice~ lols..

then after that, went to play pool with dad.. then till evening, met alex at clementi kfc for dinner then went for round 2.. LOL.. pooled with him..

then go home le.. thats pretty much for today.. sian.. still got 3 more weeks to holiday.. sian!

hmm.. currently feelin so disappointed, sad, pissed, stressed, confused..

this kind of feeling really sucks.. haiz.. i see u as my friend.. i wan to help u.. yet u like this.. haiz.. izzit the way i try to help u that is wrong? wtf.. so damn pissed with u just now.. fuck la.. i try to be good and this is wad i get.. fuckin brillant..

i am disappointed coz the way u treat me just now.. i was trying to help u.. do u know that?

i am sad coz u actually got angry with me while i'm tryin my fuckin best to help u and of coz i'm sad by the words u used..

i am pissed coz u reacted like this..

i am stressed coz of the sch projects and other minor shits that add up to my stress level..

i am confused as how ppl managed themselves in life..

hmm.. i know this is a part of life that is needed to go thru.. theres more to come.. hmm.. just need to stress out myself..

back to blog again.. hmm.. talked with sabrina.. man shes nice! she listened to my rants.. made me feel so much better.. thanks sabrina!! anyway.. just came back to blog for a while nia.. coz linked her in my list.. well.. yea=)

hmmm.. dun really have any updates.. lols.. hmm.. just really excited abt the duncan party.. XD lols.. hope we'll all tong till morning.. lols.. later like last time at QW house.. say wanna watch yoyo videos until morning.. but then in the end all slp.. lols

hmm.. tmr not going to sch coz going to some interact event.. we're going over to sarah home to bring the elderly to some museum.. lols..

hmm.. think that's all le bahs.. and oh yea! feel like trying unicyle.. but then got a lot of trouble need to go thru.. i have seen tricks bing done on a unicycle.. and.. it doesn't seem much lei.. something so hard to learn.. then in the end only got these few tricks.. i know, i know.. can create own tricks.. but then its like.. u spend so much time on it.. then only like little results.. hmm.. not sure la.. and ya hor.. another thing is that i'm not going to carry a uncycle with me to some park just to practice..

hmm.. i might consider roller-bladin.. like fun lei.. but then i dunno how to play.. lols.. might try to learn.. like fun nia.. lols.. wahahs.. so many hobbies le still wan to learn more.. lols..

hmmm.. She's really tough.. kinda hard.. lols..

I find this meaningful..

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was talented, creative, handsome, and extremely bright. A natural leader. The kind of person everyone would normally have wanted on their team or project. But he was also self-centered and had a very bad temper. When he got angry, he usually said, and often did, some very hurtful things. In fact, he seemed to have little regard for those around him. Even friends. So, naturally, he had few. "But," he told himself, "that just shows how stupid most people are!"

As he grew, his parents became concerned about this personality flaw, and pondered long and hard about what they should do. Finally, the father had an idea. And he struck a bargain with his son. He gave him a bag of nails, and a BIG hammer. "Whenever you lose your temper," he told the boy, "I want you to really let it out. Just take a nail and drive it into the oak boards of that old fence out back. Hit that nail as hard as you can!"Of course, those weathered oak boards in that old fence were almost as tough as iron, and the hammer was mighty heavy, so it wasn't nearly as easy as it first sounded. Nevertheless, by the end of the first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Gradually, over a period of weeks, the number dwindled down. Holding his temper proved to be easier than driving nails into the fence! Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He felt mighty proud as he told his parents about that accomplishment."As a sign of your success," his father responded, "you get to PULL OUT one nail. In fact, you can do that each day that you don't lose your temper even once."Well, many weeks passed. Finally one day the young boy was able to report proudly that all the nails were gone.

At that point, the father asked his son to walk out back with him and take one more good look at the fence. "You have done well, my son," he said. "But I want you to notice the holes that are left. No matter what happens from now on, this fence will never be the same. Saying or doing hurtful things in anger produces the same kind of result. There will always be a scar. It won't matter how many times you say you're sorry, or how many years pass, the scar will still be there. And a verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

People are much more valuable than an old fence. They make us smile. They help us succeed. Some will even become friends who share our joys, and support us through bad times. And, if they trust us, they will also open their hearts to us. That means we need to treat everyone with love and respect. We need to prevent as many of those scars as we can."A most valuable lesson, don't you think?

meaningful isnt it? hmm.. today sch was so-so.. hmm.. yea.. 1 year had passed.. so quickly..

attended the conference in the morning today.. but at first, met dennis and huda at cck mrt first cabin.. then we all met ks at je first cabin..

then we all go to city hall and to some hotel.. then we went to some ballroom.. a lot of ppl there.. then we listen to all kind of talks.. got speakers from india, usa, canada, thailand..

then after that, we all go eat the food.. damn nice and damn full.. then we all go home.. reached home le, i go slp then after that, woke up then go to vivo for yoyo..

this is wad pretty much happened for today lo..

hmm.. pretty much not good.. this is wad i think..

hmmm.. just recovered from sickness.. lols.. then today sch as per normal.. then after sch went to clementi minds for interact.. seeing those benefitories made me feel how lucky i am.. mayb i shld stop complaining.. hmm.. yea.. think i shld stop.. then today played games with them.. it was really happy when they are dancing ard, playing games, eating..

then after that, went home to bathe then went to bpp with parents and had dinner at swensens! yummy.. lols.. hahas.. damn nice.. hahas.. then after that go home le.. hmm.. now looking forward to the duncan party and christmas.. but then everytime i think abt christmas, suddenly have this 'empty' feeling.. and of coz it does not feel good.. its like christmas.. celebrating with ur love ones.. but then its my partner i wan to celebrate with.. yea.. and wads worst is feb 14th.. v'day.. hmmm.. but then christmas like hurts a bit more.. dunno y lei..

it seems that shes always bz lei.. lets say if we managed to be together, it wouldn't be good lei.. she will be like occupied with work and studies.. hmm.. if really cannot de hua, i am afraid i need to let go.. hmm.. yea..

tmr need to attend some conferenece.. so early in the morning.. 930 at city hall.. sians.. then after that shld be coming home to rest.. then later going to vivo for yoyo..

i saw the pain in ur eyes.. i know it hurts.. i'm sorry..

last few days i had this nice dream.. i dreamt that we were holding hands.. but then i cannot really remember the rest of wad happen.. but that moment felt special..

hmm.. did not attend sch on wed coz i sick.. got headache, back pain, stomach ache.. sians.. then on thurs i only study half day then come back le.. coz still dun feel well.. then take AL go home rest..

hmm.. tmr friday.. got interact thing after sch.. then at nite not sure doin wad.. hope got pool session.. lols..

hmm.. dun really have any updates.. actually have la.. only lazy to blog abt it nia.. lols..

well today attended a 3 hr meetin.. sian.. interact de.. well.. now i am Club Wellfare Director.. hmm.. got good and bad la.. hmm.. sian.. lols.. like sian nia..

happy deepavali to all.. lols.. i mean the indians..

hmm.. ytd slp at 3am.. was chattin online till ard 1.20.. then went to play yoyo till 2.. but then from 2 to 3 cannot slp.. lols.. think afternoon slp too much le.. lols..

hmm.. as for today.. think later going to play pool with dad.. hmm.. yea.. nth really much to update ar..

is history repeating itself? i think it is.. sians..
current time.. 11.46pm cant slp.. lols

heya stupid bitch.. how's life? it has been quite sometime since i talked to u.. oh wait.. are u the one who blocked me first? yea.. if i am not wrong, u are the one.. lols.. it would be interesting to know how u are doin now.. lols.. fooled any new guys this time? i hope they know worx.. lols.. i hope they dun be like me.. well.. i believe in karma.. always there and anytime.. Lucky we nv meet up ar.. or else it would be harder for me.. lols.. and help me pass this msg to ur friend.. ask him to mind his own business.. thanks..

sometime i think that there is no good person in the world at all.. and the only ppl u can trust are ur family members only.. and i too think that the closer ones are actually the ones who will hurt u the most.. hmm.. wad a world i live in.. sometimes disappearing from this facade world is the best.. suicide?

wel.. there are other things that too made me think of suicide.. the challenges in life lo.. so many of them.. and i'm kinda lazy to face them.. yea, ppl did say abt the happy side.. but then i think that the tough side is more the happy wor.. hmm.. why am i thinkin of all these? perhaps going thru a stage in life perhaps? think so.. wadever.. fuck

so fan now.. haiz.. sians.. and it feels like no one cares la.. knn.. really sian la

new month.. sian.. going to year end le.. sian.. and now.. projects.. sian! life's ok now la.. but then shag and stress nia..

Who am i to u? when u need me then u come and find me.. but dun need le then i no need to come find u? I'm not an item.. do u know that? like as if putting me aside when u dun need me.. then need me le then u come find me.. haiz..